Funny Wedding Card Poems: Congratulations for Getting Married
Funny Wedding Card Poems: A wedding is the perfect occasion to shower blessings and give good wishes to newlyweds. But it’s also a great opportunity to taunt and tease the new bride and groom. Whether it is your best friend, colleague, cousin or a family member who is tying the knot – don’t miss the golden chance of pulling their leg. Mock them with cute one-liners about marriage and tease them about entering the worst phase of their lives. Post sarcastic congratulatory wishes on their Facebook, welcoming them to the world of fights and arguments. Put a smile on their faces by giving them a quirky gift along with a funny quote written on a greeting card. From fighting to sharing domestic chores to experiencing romantic moments – your messages should convey how marriage is a mix of sweet and sour.
1) The local news channel
Has issued a warning
The weather department
Has been forecasting
A deadly storm will loom
Large upon your life
Starting from the day
You become husband-wife
Congratulations
2) I always thought you were
A little immature
By getting married
You proved that for sure
I always had an inkling
That you were a tad stupid
And by tying the knot
You’ve just confirmed it
Congratulations
3) Marriage is like fine wine
Expensive and classy
You expect a good kick
But nothing happens eventually
The futility of the wine
You only realize later
Drinking beer with mates
Suddenly seems much better
Congratulations
4) The biggest tournament
The grandest match ever
The toughest challenge
The mightiest endeavor
Of your life will now
Shortly begin
In which only the ladies
Are allowed to win
Congratulations
5) Another couple
Bites the dust
By doing what everyone
At some point must
Marriage will make you
Dig your own graves
Congratulations for becoming
Each other’s slaves
6) No more
Late night partying
No more
Random traveling
No more
Spontaneous spending
No more
Whimsical splurging
For you will now
Be entering
Your married lives
So slow and boring
Congratulations
7) Be sure that you can
Take all this hardship
All the responsibility
Of a new relationship
Be ready for sharing
Your room with someone
And to miss out on
All the joy and fun
Congratulations
8) The key rule
To keep a marriage happy
Is to always have
A selective memory
Remember all the things
That you both do right
Forget each other’s mistakes
Before going to bed at night
One more secret for having
A joyful matrimony
Is to impose this rule
Only on your hubby
Congratulations
9) By saying I do
To slavery you have agreed
My friend you have done
Yourself a deadly deed
Just a few months ago
Your life was a party
Now you have succumbed
To a life of drudgery
10) You have taken the path
Of no return
On the road of marriage
There is no U-turn
You have signed up for
A loss-making deal
Your life will now be reduced
To being a hamster wheel
Congratulations
11) You will question
You will doubt
You will start thinking
What life is all about
You will become
A philosopher
Thinking about things
That could’ve been better
This is what marriage
Will do to you
You better know what
You’re getting into
Congratulations
12) While you were dating
Your girlfriend yielded influence
Now that you are married
She will yield pure dominance
By making the rules at home
She will rule over you
I won’t be surprised to see
You being beaten black and blue
Congratulations
13) You haven’t just
Exchanged wedding bands
You have tied handcuffs
On each other’s hands
By deciding to
Tie the knot today
Forever in prison
You have chosen to stay
Congratulations
14) To have lots of fun
Get ready
By using your husband’s
Monthly salary
Raid his bank account
All that you want
To buy clothes and shoes
That you can flaunt
For that is the real
Meaning and definition
Of being happily married
And having lots of fun
15) After all these years
The day is here
When you both get married
With celebratory cheer
Thanks for getting off
My back finally
By getting a husband
To harass permanently
Congratulations
16) If you wanted to have
A carefree and fun life
You should’ve stayed single
Not get yourself a wife
If you wanted to do something
Exciting after college
You should have gone traveling
Not pick something crazy like marriage
Congratulations
17) We are at such a loss
Since you have gone
Our group will have to do
Without you from now on
We are unhappy because
You aren’t a bachelor anymore
Now that you are married
You will be a big bore
Congratulations
18) I know why you got married
You wanted me to feel bad
Because I am still single
You wanted me to be sad
But now I will take
Sadistic pleasure in seeing
You both getting married
And permanently suffering
Congratulations
19) Full of potholes and dead ends
Marriage is a bumpy road
A melting pot of emotions
Which might just explode
An unpredictable journey
It always tends to be
I wonder why smart people like you
Undertake a proposition so risky
Congratulations
20) Only crazy people like you
Go ahead and get married
Only stupid people like you
Forgo bachelor life so vivid
Only dumb people like you
Dig your own grave so soon
Not knowing that being single
Is meant to be such a boon
Kudos to the courage
And valor you have shown
You are the silliest
Bachelor I have known
Congratulations
21) Love, care and affection
Will be replaced by confrontation
Smiles, winks and coyness
Will be replaced by unhappiness
Shopping, dating and fine dining
Will be replaced by arguing and fighting
Welcome to a place called hell
Bid your bachelor life a final farewell
Congratulations
22) Climbing a high mountain
Is not a proof of bravery
Nor is free-falling
Into a deep and dark sea
The real act of courage
Is plunging into
Something called marriage
For that kudos to you
Congratulations
23) The internet is replete
With funny quotes
Blogs are overflowing
With anecdotes
Of how marriage tastes
Both sweet and sour
To courageous couples like you
I wish more power
Congratulations
24) Marriage is a game
In which you’ll always loose
No matter what you say
Or which side you choose
It is a double-edged sword
Which will hurt you anyway
Congratulations for heading
Towards your D-Day
25) Gather all your strength
Save all your energy
Put together all your might
You will need it badly
Married life, after all
You are entering
Get yourself ready for
Constant bickering and fighting
26) In front of you there was
A platter full of sweets
You could pick anything up
And enjoy multiple treats
But your eyes were set
Only on one delicacy
All I can say is that your life
Is a missed opportunity
Congratulations
27) Look closer and you will find
That your wedding ring is a chain
All the fluff and romance
Will eventually be futile and vain
Reflect deeply and you will see
That your wedding is just the start
Of discovering a monster
In the person you called your sweetheart
Congratulations
28) Your marriage will spell
Big trouble for me
Now I’ll too be forced
To get myself a hubby
Now that you’re hitched
I’ll be pushed for it too
As my best friend
This is all that you could do
Congratulations
29) Tying the knot in other words
Is tying yourself to a boulder
You will now have many
Responsibilities to shoulder
Slipping the wedding ring
On each other’s fingers
Will leave you with no option
But to always be together
Congratulations
30) You lost your chance
To have fun with your own money
Now you’ll be spending it all
On your honey
You blew away the option
Of enjoying your savings
Now you’ll waste it all
In silly grocery shopping
Congratulations
